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  • Jo Allen

My Epic Love Story With The Food Network

Everyone has a relationship at some point in their lives, which we know is not necessarily the best. We stay in it because we are comfortable, and it isn’t the worst experience ever. But you know, deep down, it will always be like this: late-night arguments, pointless disagreements, jealousy and trust issues, even taking breaks and time away from one another. We hope to learn and grow from these relationships, and sometimes we do. Other times, it can be weeks, months, and even years before we realize we’ve gained something valuable.


Such romances are difficult, time-consuming, and need your attention for hours. Rachel Ray can hold my attention for hours as well, considering she has six shows on The Food Network. One of my favorites is “Rachel Ray’s Tasty Treats,” and, needless to say, cooking is not as easy as it looks. Especially for a 20-something-year-old, with little money and one pot and one pan, it can be a frustrating task. And of course, we all know the real thing never looks as good as the picture. This is where the trust issues come in. My relationship with Rachel is a bit rocky. My Carbonara Mac ‘n Cheese Soufflé will never turn out like Rachel’s. Now jealousy is a factor, and the relationship is questionable at best at this point.


Late-night arguments and empty promises are the biggest issues between Guy Fieri and me, especially when “Diners, Drive-ins and Dives” is played late at night. I can never seem to have enough money to travel to the new hot places that Guy is visiting. All I want to do is try those Brisket-Loaded Sweet Potatoes, but guess what? I CAN’T. All because I have no money.

Pointless disagreements are the absolute worst because you feel stupid after having them, and most of the time you say things you don’t mean. This happens a lot with the dessert shows on The Food Network. My newest arguments happen with the host of “Sweet Genius.” Ron Ben-Israel knows how to make me fume, with all the disagreements I have with my baking pan. Things are thrown and, sometimes, even broken. It happens a lot; with relationships, you never know what’s going to happen after fights. Make up? Make out? Of course, I make up with cupcakes made from a box, rather than the homemade hand-frosted ones that Ron talks about and teases me with.





On occasion, there is even a break needed. You need time away. The television stays off for those regular times. The knives stay in the drawer, and you know it’s okay. You have to tell yourself to put down the remote and walk away.

Relationships are tough, and The Food Network knows very well to watch their mouth with me. Everyone believes that things are meant to be easy, and your other half is supposed to make you feel on top of the world. But the reality is that it’s not always easy. A relationship involves work… and so does cooking.

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